“When author Ed Cantor and his wife learn she has cancer, they begin a journey that tests everything they know about themselves and each other. Written almost as a diary from the time they learned of the cancer to the final days of her life, it is a poignant, compelling and inspiring love story. A must read for anyone going through this experience or is close to someone who is.”
–Richard Ferguson, past Chairman of the Board, National Association of Broadcasters
Man plans, God laughs is an old Yiddish proverb. Despite the best of plans, life does not always turn out as expected. We cannot control our fate.
In 1971, Ed and Micki Cantor were married. Ed was a successful attorney in Connecticut. Micki was then a cable television advertising executive. They both pursued successful careers and were happy in their life together.
In 2003, their peaceful retirement life was shattered. Micki was diagnosed with Stage III ovarian cancer. During the next eight years, Micki faced four surgical procedures, chemotherapy, several hospitalizations, a lengthy period of remission, and an uncontrollable recurrence and decline. Until her death in 2011, Ed was her primary caregiver and a frustrated bystander. Caught up in the medical system, Micki and Ed were consumed by the cancer—its diagnosis, its treatment, its uncertainty, its pain, unpredictability, and heartbreak.
Finally, Micki and Ed had to face the essential question: Where does the struggle to prolong life end and a concern for the quality and dignity of remaining life prevail?
This is a story for all families and partners. It is a story of life and death—and a truly human journey.
Edward H. Cantor was born and raised in Connecticut. He received a B.A. from Yale University in 1961 and a J.D. from the Columbia University School of Law in 1964. In 1966, Ed founded his own firm in New Haven and Orange, Connecticut, and remained the senior attorney until his retirement in 1998.
Ed Cantor and Micki Yates married in 1971 and had one son and two grandchildren.
Micki carved out on her own career as a cable television advertising executive and retired in 1997, eventually obtaining a graduate degree in Archaeology from Yale.
Throughout his legal career and during retirement, Ed devoted a substantial amount of his time to nonprofit organizations. He served as Chairman of the Board of Gaylord Hospital, President of the Yale Club of New Haven, President of Temple Emanuel of Greater New Haven, Trustee of the Hopkins School Board of Trustees, and Board Member of the International Festival of Arts and Ideas.
Currently, Ed is co-chairman of the Yale College Class of 1961 (1996–present). He and fellow members of his class have raised over $2 million for research at the Yale Cancer Center. He is also the co-chairman of the Yale College Class of 1961 Cancer Center Endowment, with the goal of raising more than $1 million to provide an annual award to young investigators conducting research to treat or cure cancer.
Praise for Remember Me
“This book makes a very powerful statement. It must be published and read.”
–Sherwin Nuland, winner National Book Award for How We Die: Reflections on Life’s Final Chapter
“Remember Me is of immense value to family caregivers supporting loved ones during their journeys with cancer. A quick and engaging read, Cantor chronicles the ups, downs highs and lows that nearly all cancer patients go through. With remarkable generosity of spirit he shows that we are not alone in how we experience cancer.”
–Thomas J. Lynch, Jr. M.D. Director of Yale Cancer Center and Physician-in-Chief of Smilow Cancer Hospital at Yale-New Haven
“Ed’s book is for everyone who suffers, especially from cancer, and for those who love them. That means lots of us. It is the earthy chronicle of survival and triumph. Those who open themselves to Ed’s shared recollection will grow in their will to survive even life’s worst lottery tickets. We all need his example of survival and triumph, over even walking ‘through the valley of the shadow of death.’”
–Rabbi Mark Winer, former president of the National Council of Synagogues
“Thank you, Ed, for letting me share this journey. I am fortunate to have, in a very small way, shared with two friends a battle and how they bravely fought it. This is a well-written, engaging, and emotionally compelling book.”
–Henry “Sam” Chauncey, Jr., former president Gaylord Hospital and former secretary of Yale University
“I found the book absolutely captivating. Author Ed Cantor conveys the emotional and psychological dimensions of life’s most perplexing and un-understandable questions in a way that is very clear, and very compelling, but does not get in the way of the narrative. I am blown away by this book.”
–Alan Blanchard, President Emeritus, Episcopal Church Pension Fund
“Beautiful, excellently written, poignant, factual, candid, emotional, and helpful to all of those going through life’s challenges. Great contribution to our society.”
–Jamie McLane, former CEO of Aetna Health Plans and former Chairman of Outward Bound USA
“This is an exquisite, agonizing work. There were sections I had to read and re-read because I could not see through the tears. Your bravery, devotion, gallant and true love informs each word of this book. It is an invaluable and generous gift to any and all of us who have faced or are facing the inevitable absence of a loved one.”
—Peter Webster, writer, producer, film director
May Day at Yale, 1970: Recollections
The Trial of Bobby Seale and the Black Panthers
By Henry “Sam” Chauncey, with an introduction by Henry Louis “Skip” Gates and photographs by John T. Hill and Thomas Strong
Hardcover, 120 pages 11 x 11
Official publication date: April 21, 2015
Available directly from the publisher for a limited time at the special price of $25 with free media mail shipping. Send your order to firstname.lastname@example.org or simply mail a check and your order to Easton Studio Press, PO Box 3131, Westport CT 06880.
This book comes from first hand experiences, both in word and in pictures. It offers a partial record of a community and an institution coming together to accommodate an event while deflecting its potential violence. The history of the New Haven Green bridges over four centuries. It has served as a place for worship, for grazing cattle, staging revolutions, witness to hangings, and various campaigns.
On the day before and on May Day of 1970, Yale University and New Haven prepared to host an agitated congregation of young civil rights activists with a diverse list of causes, but focused mainly on freeing Bobby Seale, the Black Panther leader. This book gives a glimpse of that diversity; diverse in cause, attitude, and dress. Marked changes in mood evolved over the approximate 32 hours. Yale and New Haven could be proud of avoiding real violence and bloodshed.
Like an archeological record, May Day at Yale, 1970 exhibits not only the New Haven Green on that one day, but marks a broader shift in direction for a county at large. For those who were there, it seems painfully near. For later generations, it is likely a remote abstraction, one that is well worth knowing something about, as emblematic of an important period in our history.
Henry Chauncey, Jr., known as “Sam”, was born in 1935. He graduated from Yale College in 1957. He worked in various administrative capacities at Yale from 1957 to 1982. He then was founding CEO of Science Park Development Corporation in New Haven; subsequently President and CEO of Gaylord Hospital in Wallingford, Connecticut and finally Lecturer and Head of the Health Management Program in the Yale School of Public Health. He is retired and resides in New Haven.
Professor and educator Henry Louis “Skip” Gates Jr. was born on September 16, 1950, in Keyser, West Virginia. Gates excelled as a student, graduating from Yale University in 1973 with a degree in history. He continued his education at Clare College, which is part of the University of Cambridge in England. He finished his doctorate degree in 1979, making him the first African-American to receive a Ph.D. from the university.
In the 1980s, Gates became known as a leading scholar of African-American literature, history, and culture. At the start of the decade, he began working on the Black Periodical Literature Project, which uncovered lost literary works published in 1800s. Gates received a grant from the prestigious MacArthur Foundation in 1981, which helped support his scholarship in African-American literature.
In 1991, Gates became the head of the African-American studies department at Harvard University. He is credited with transforming the school’s African American studies program.
Gates served an editor on several anthologies and collections of African-American literature and contributed to the field of literary theory with such works as Black Literature and Literary Theory (1984) and The Signifying Monkey: Towards a Theory of Afro-American Literary Criticism (1988). In 1991, Gates became the head of the African-American studies department at Harvard University. He is credited with transforming the school’s African American studies program. Gates is now the director of the W.E.B. Du Bois Institute for African and African-American Research at the university.
John T. Hill holds MFA degrees from both the University of Georgia and Yale. He taught at Yale for nineteen years, becoming its first director of graduate studies in photography. In 1975, on the death of his friend, Walker Evans, he became executor of that estate. After leaving Yale, he has designed and authored a number of books and exhibitions.
Thomas Strong has a BA from Dartmouth and a degree in graphic design from Yale School of Art and Architecture. Walker Evans was his principle instructor in photography. Since 1968, he and Marjorie C. Gordon have directed the design firm Strong Cohen on Chapel Street in New Haven.