“When author Ed Cantor and his wife learn she has cancer, they begin a journey that tests everything they know about themselves and each other. Written almost as a diary from the time they learned of the cancer to the final days of her life, it is a poignant, compelling and inspiring love story. A must read for anyone going through this experience or is close to someone who is.”
–Richard Ferguson, past Chairman of the Board, National Association of Broadcasters
Man plans, God laughs is an old Yiddish proverb. Despite the best of plans, life does not always turn out as expected. We cannot control our fate.
In 1971, Ed and Micki Cantor were married. Ed was a successful attorney in Connecticut. Micki was then a cable television advertising executive. They both pursued successful careers and were happy in their life together.
In 2003, their peaceful retirement life was shattered. Micki was diagnosed with Stage III ovarian cancer. During the next eight years, Micki faced four surgical procedures, chemotherapy, several hospitalizations, a lengthy period of remission, and an uncontrollable recurrence and decline. Until her death in 2011, Ed was her primary caregiver and a frustrated bystander. Caught up in the medical system, Micki and Ed were consumed by the cancer—its diagnosis, its treatment, its uncertainty, its pain, unpredictability, and heartbreak.
Finally, Micki and Ed had to face the essential question: Where does the struggle to prolong life end and a concern for the quality and dignity of remaining life prevail?
This is a story for all families and partners. It is a story of life and death—and a truly human journey.
Edward H. Cantor was born and raised in Connecticut. He received a B.A. from Yale University in 1961 and a J.D. from the Columbia University School of Law in 1964. In 1966, Ed founded his own firm in New Haven and Orange, Connecticut, and remained the senior attorney until his retirement in 1998.
Ed Cantor and Micki Yates married in 1971 and had one son and two grandchildren.
Micki carved out on her own career as a cable television advertising executive and retired in 1997, eventually obtaining a graduate degree in Archaeology from Yale.
Throughout his legal career and during retirement, Ed devoted a substantial amount of his time to nonprofit organizations. He served as Chairman of the Board of Gaylord Hospital, President of the Yale Club of New Haven, President of Temple Emanuel of Greater New Haven, Trustee of the Hopkins School Board of Trustees, and Board Member of the International Festival of Arts and Ideas.
Currently, Ed is co-chairman of the Yale College Class of 1961 (1996–present). He and fellow members of his class have raised over $2 million for research at the Yale Cancer Center. He is also the co-chairman of the Yale College Class of 1961 Cancer Center Endowment, with the goal of raising more than $1 million to provide an annual award to young investigators conducting research to treat or cure cancer.
Praise for Remember Me
“This book makes a very powerful statement. It must be published and read.”
–Sherwin Nuland, winner National Book Award for How We Die: Reflections on Life’s Final Chapter
“Remember Me is of immense value to family caregivers supporting loved ones during their journeys with cancer. A quick and engaging read, Cantor chronicles the ups, downs highs and lows that nearly all cancer patients go through. With remarkable generosity of spirit he shows that we are not alone in how we experience cancer.”
–Thomas J. Lynch, Jr. M.D. Director of Yale Cancer Center and Physician-in-Chief of Smilow Cancer Hospital at Yale-New Haven
“Ed’s book is for everyone who suffers, especially from cancer, and for those who love them. That means lots of us. It is the earthy chronicle of survival and triumph. Those who open themselves to Ed’s shared recollection will grow in their will to survive even life’s worst lottery tickets. We all need his example of survival and triumph, over even walking ‘through the valley of the shadow of death.’”
–Rabbi Mark Winer, former president of the National Council of Synagogues
“Thank you, Ed, for letting me share this journey. I am fortunate to have, in a very small way, shared with two friends a battle and how they bravely fought it. This is a well-written, engaging, and emotionally compelling book.”
–Henry “Sam” Chauncey, Jr., former president Gaylord Hospital and former secretary of Yale University
“I found the book absolutely captivating. Author Ed Cantor conveys the emotional and psychological dimensions of life’s most perplexing and un-understandable questions in a way that is very clear, and very compelling, but does not get in the way of the narrative. I am blown away by this book.”
–Alan Blanchard, President Emeritus, Episcopal Church Pension Fund
“Beautiful, excellently written, poignant, factual, candid, emotional, and helpful to all of those going through life’s challenges. Great contribution to our society.”
–Jamie McLane, former CEO of Aetna Health Plans and former Chairman of Outward Bound USA
“This is an exquisite, agonizing work. There were sections I had to read and re-read because I could not see through the tears. Your bravery, devotion, gallant and true love informs each word of this book. It is an invaluable and generous gift to any and all of us who have faced or are facing the inevitable absence of a loved one.”
—Peter Webster, writer, producer, film director
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